Peter "Bra Snatcher" Parker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
nomoneystillproblems) wrote2014-12-03 09:15 pm
nomoneystillproblems) wrote2014-12-03 09:15 pm
Entry tags:
call me maybe
parker.peter@cdc.org
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parker.peter@cdc.org
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parker.peter@cdc.org
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Day 79
i got a bone to pick with you
no subject
FROM: peter.parker@cdc.org
I think you have the wrong address...
no subject
you're a kid, aren't you.
no subject
FROM: peter.parker@cdc.org
Mr. Wilson are you sure this is the right person you want to talk to because things are going haywire with these blackglass messages right now
no subject
would you shut the fuck up for three seconds, i know that's hard
no, really, i do, look at me
FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org
i looked up your name but that was it. hero code, ok? i don't want people knowing my shit, i figured you don't want people knowing your shit
i didn't look at your picture, pinky promise. i put my fat fingers over it so i couldn't see.
FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org
but i didn't realize you were a KID. i don't think the guy back home is a kid... or maybe he is. idk.
a few minutes later....
I don't get it. What does that change? There's a lot of teenagers in this business.
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
Did the Spider-Man you know do something crazy or what?
no subject
what the hell, that doesn't make it ok! like, y'all need to be in school and learning stuff
FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org
the world's already fucked up. kids shouldn't have to be putting their lives on the line to fix it.
FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org
no. just. like, he was no avengers-level, you know what i'm sayin, but he was still a hero. people looked up to him.
i thought he was older
no subject
I am in school! I've got straight A's!
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
I'm not that young. And I'm in this too deep to back out now. I have the ability to help people, I can't just sit on my butt to keep my carcass in tact and watch other people suffer.
[And he stares at this. Glowering. Of course he's not fucking Avengers level, or Ultimates or whatever the hell they're going to call themselves. No matter what Nick Fury said, he's just not cut from the same cloth. So sorry he didn't grow up a billionaire and got to build himself into a hero. So sorry he's not a super spy assassin, or that he never turned the tide of World War II, or that he can't shoot a bow and arrow.]
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
Screw the Avengers.
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
He might be where you're from. Trust me, you're nothing like the Deadpool I knew. He was on a reality TV show where they were shipping in kidnapped mutants, and he'd hunt them down and kill them on air for kicks
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
Don't worry about me. I'm fine. I've been at this longer than some adults, frankly. And the CDC didn't care about whether I'm legal or not either, and I don't have a choice where they're concerned either.
no subject
wait, really? jesus how do you even have time for straight a's
FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org
i mean. gghghdghghghgh.
[What is he supposed to say to that? The kid has a point--and yet the point IS, he shouldn't have to do those things. He shouldn't feel like he needs to risk himself for the lives of others, day after day, without any reward whatsoever.
Maybe being a hero is its own reward.
Deadpool wouldn't know. He's never been that selfless. Never gonna be that selfless.]
FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org
not a fan huh. i mean they're super rad cool but at the same time it's like, do they remember the little people????
FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org
yeah naw. i'm no hero, but that's not my shtick. and i guess.
[He's still gonna look out for this kid, he thinks. The world needs a Spider-Man. Even if it doesn't know it.
They don't know how goddamn lucky they are, having a kid put his life on the line for them.]
no subject
Well aside from French most of the curriculum is pretty easy, and I do make time to study.
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
Yeah they're kinda short changed when it comes to anyone who's not got a million dollar backing.
[To put it at its absolute lightest. Peter has to look away from the blackglass, seething mad all of a sudden. He's not sure whether Deadpool read the file in full but even if he did, there's no way that he'd suss out the guy Peter took the bullet for was Cap. Nor that the reason he died in a fight right after was because the asshole up and ditched him after the bridge they were on got bombed.]
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
You don't have to be a mercenary either, Deadpool.
no subject
charisma and good looks go far in this business i think
FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org
like name one attractive super-villain. seriously.
FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org
the chicks don't count they're all hot
[He doesn't respond for a while at that last text.]
FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org
I tried the hero shit. fucked it up royally. I'll stick with what I'm good at.
no subject
R Kelly.
[Similarly, Peter stares a long while at his in turn. He'd actually tried? Deadpool. Tried to be a good guy. He pulls up his file for the umpteenth time as if it might have been updated, or there was a key word or turn of phrase he'd missed his first fifteen times around.
There's nothing. Horrible past, horrible outcome. Not quite horrible guy.]
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
Didn't say you had to be a happy go lucky do gooder either. I get it, not everyone's cup of tea.
Guess it doesn't matter now does it? We're on the demolition crew now.
no subject
haha. there's a new super-villain in town though. robin-fuckin'-thicke. throw his ass in jail.
FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org
yeah. kill everyone else to save earth! whooooo freakin' hoo.
[Life sucks sometimes. But at least he's an adult. He's technically responsible for his actions.... right?]
FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org
we'll figure this shit out somehow, kay. it'll be fine.
no subject
Well his name is stupid so I'll take your word for it. What did he do?
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
God don't even remind me. This is beyond bogus.
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
And yeah. I'll keep in touch then.
[And in spite of himself, Peter finds he means it. What a world this was where he trusted Deadpool more as an ally than any of the Ultimates.
...Okay trust is a far stretch but still. This Deadpool isn't a write off, and that's a good start.]
no subject
oh, you know. compares women to animals that need to be domesticated and how the lines of consent are so blurred that he figures she has to want his tiny d.
FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org
that grey area between 'yes' and 'no', man. it'll fuck you up every time.
FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org
k. stay outta the vents!