call me maybe

[nomoneystillproblems]

parker.peter@cdc.org
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[nomoneystillproblems]

FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org

R Kelly.

[Similarly, Peter stares a long while at his in turn. He'd actually tried? Deadpool. Tried to be a good guy. He pulls up his file for the umpteenth time as if it might have been updated, or there was a key word or turn of phrase he'd missed his first fifteen times around.

There's nothing. Horrible past, horrible outcome. Not quite horrible guy.]

FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org

Didn't say you had to be a happy go lucky do gooder either. I get it, not everyone's cup of tea.

Guess it doesn't matter now does it? We're on the demolition crew now.

[gobbledygook]

FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org

haha. there's a new super-villain in town though. robin-fuckin'-thicke. throw his ass in jail.

FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org

yeah. kill everyone else to save earth! whooooo freakin' hoo.

[Life sucks sometimes. But at least he's an adult. He's technically responsible for his actions.... right?]

FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org

we'll figure this shit out somehow, kay. it'll be fine.

[nomoneystillproblems]

FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org

Well his name is stupid so I'll take your word for it. What did he do?

FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org

God don't even remind me. This is beyond bogus.

FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org

And yeah. I'll keep in touch then.

[And in spite of himself, Peter finds he means it. What a world this was where he trusted Deadpool more as an ally than any of the Ultimates.

...Okay trust is a far stretch but still. This Deadpool isn't a write off, and that's a good start.]

[gobbledygook]

FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org

oh, you know. compares women to animals that need to be domesticated and how the lines of consent are so blurred that he figures she has to want his tiny d.

FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org

that grey area between 'yes' and 'no', man. it'll fuck you up every time.

FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org

k. stay outta the vents!