Peter "Bra Snatcher" Parker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
nomoneystillproblems) wrote2015-10-29 11:41 am
nomoneystillproblems) wrote2015-10-29 11:41 am
OPEN POST with a dash of shamelessly swiped random scenario meme
nomoneystillproblems) or Eren Jaeger (menintitans). I'm ganking the meme prompts from bakerstreet but if you have an idea for something else post it anyway, just let me play with you! X(Speed don't matter and neither does common sense or previous CR....just love me......please....
RANDOM SCENARIOS!
- Post your character, name, and series in the subject. Include any preferences as well.
- Go to RNG and enter 1-7 for a scene type, and 1-20 for a scene to play out.
TYPE OF SCENE.
① Action → Gun fights, bar brawls, fights to the death are all possible scenarios.
② Angst → Characters suffer emotionally or physically from relationships breaking up, death, injury, etc. Hurt and comfort themes are included.
③ Crack → Genderswaps, super powers, sudden compulsions are all possible outcomes.
④ Fluff → Something that is devoid of angst. It's light-hearted and might have the overtone of romance.
⑤ Gen → General fun, things that didn't fit in the other categories.
⑥ Your choice → Think of your own scenario, choose one of the above or make a combo even!
ACTION.
① Zombies → It's the zombie apocalypse, lock and load!
② Bar brawl → You had one too many drinks, said something wrong, and now you're being asked to take it outside.
③ Chase → You're caught in a high speed chase.
④ Gun fight → You're caught in a big shoot-out.
⑤ Fight with a friend → You're fighting with a friend, all out.
⑥ Interrogation → You're being interrogated for some offense you've done.
⑦ Aliens → Aliens are attacking and you're not going to take your probe laying down!
⑧ Final battle → This is it. The battle that will end all the fighting for you. Will you win? Will you get that peace you want?
⑨ Training → You're not actually fighting, just training for the inevitable.
⑩ No hope → You know this fight has no hope. It's not going to end well for anyone involved, but you can't turn away.
⑪ Sneaking in → You're stealing a diamond or sneaking in to kick some bad guy butt, but whatever it is, you have to practice stealth.
⑫ Blue wire → You're faced with a bomb that needs to be disarmed.
⑬ Fight for honor → You've been disgraced or someone you care about has, so it's time to fight for honour.
⑭ Showdown → Time for a cowboy-style showdown. Whoever draws the fastest wins.
⑮ War → You're caught in the middle of a war here. Remember to keep your chin up and keeping fighting.
⑯ Apocalypse → The apocalypse finally happened and now you're left to scavenge and fight for whatever is left.
⑰ Sabotage → It's time to sabotage someone's plan! How is entirely up to you. Do you set up a bomb in their toilet? Do you double cross them at the last minute?
⑱ Big damn hero → You know you have to handle this one alone, so that means disarming or knocking unconscious the person who wants to join you.
⑲ Fight club → You know the rules... you're in an underground fighting ring and you're fighting with all you've got.
⑳ Threaten → You've just been sent here to rough them up a little, threaten them into behaving.
ANGST.
① Injury / illness → Your character has become injured or ill! To what extent is the mun's choice.
② Last moments → You character has been gravely injured and this is their last chance to say their last words.
③ Depression → Your character is depressed, what actions they take is up to the mun.
④ Betrayed → You character has been betrayed by the other. How do they react?
⑤ Tortured → Your character is being tortured and needs rescuing or at least a sympathetic ear to help him through it.
⑥ Jealousy → Your character is feeling jealous and must deal with it, how will they do it?
⑦ Breakup! → This relationship has gone as far as it can, it's time to breakup.
⑧ Broken → For whatever reason, the character is broken, mentally or or physically.
⑨ Fight → You can't even be in the same room as your friend or lover without arguing anymore.
⑩ Lost → You lost the biggest fight of your life and now all you can do is try to pick up the pieces.
⑪ Worst nightmare → Whatever you fear the most is now real or maybe you're just trapped in a dream together, but whatever it is, it feels too real.
⑫ Addicted → You're addicted to something, alcohol, drugs, sex, whatever. It's destroying your life and you can't do anything to stop it.
⑬ Hurt you → You're being forced to hurt someone you love either by betraying them or even being forced to shout things you don't mean. It's for their own good in the end though.
⑭ Separation → You were forced to leave this person for their own safety and while you've been miserable without them, you really didn't mean to run into them again... maybe it was by accident or you were watching them from afar this whole time.
⑮ Becoming a monster → You are slowly changing, becoming a monster: vampire, zombie, demon, something you can't recover from and no-one can help you.
⑯ Frozen → You are entirely helpless, frozen, to stop some kind of disaster.
⑰ Prison → You were very bad and now it's time to pay the price by turning yourself in or maybe the law just finally caught up to you.
⑱ Fear → You're not sure why, but you are suddenly terrified and you can't deal with it. You need help.
⑲ Hated → You are now hated by the person you loved the most.
⑳ Down and out → You're living on the streets, you've hit rock bottom, and you don't know what to do.
CRACK.
① Sexswap → Uh-oh, you're suddenly the opposite sex!
② Forced confessions → No matter what it is and no matter how hard you resist, you're going to be compelled to spill some deep dark secret!
③ Mind-reading → You've suddenly got the ability to read minds!
④ Animal → You're suddenly part animal or transformed into an animal!
⑤ Awkward pick-up lines → You're compelled to use bad pickup lines on whoever is closest!
⑥ Back in School / Graduated → You're suddenly back in school! Or if you were already in it, you've aged and long since graduated!
⑦ Vampires, werewolves, and zombies, oh my! → You're suddenly a vampire, werewolf, or zombie! Maybe even a demon or a devil, whatever creepy crawly you can think of. What do you do now?
⑧ Ghost → You're suddenly a ghost or at least invisible. What are you going to do with this new ability?
⑨ Awkward conversations → So did you just fart or what? Any conversation goes, as long as it's embarrassing and awkward.
⑩ Crossdressing → For whatever reason, you're suddenly dressed in clothes of the opposite sex.
⑪ Suddenly naked → Oops! Your clothes are suddenly gone.
⑫ Suddenly a kid → You're a kid again! Have fun with that second childhood.
⑬ Fortune cookie → You've suddenly received a note with something that will happen in the future, either precise or vague.
⑭ Super power → And suddenly you're like Superman! Any power goes.
⑮ Bodyswap → Somehow you've changed bodies with the other person.
⑯ Back in time → Somehow, you wound up in the past again. Do you try to correct something or just sit and wait for time to jump? Maybe it jumps to various points in your life or maybe you actually think you're back in the day. Have fun, run wild with the idea!
⑰ To the future → Is it everything you've dreamed? Is it horrible? Whatever happens, you're here to witness what happens to you in the future. Either you take the place of your future self or you're just there to watch. Might cause some confusion if people start seeing double though...
⑱ Angels, mermaids, and fairies! → You're not necessary something dark or evil. You're just something different. How do you deal?
⑲ Locked in a closet → For some reason, you're locked up in a closet with someone else. Do you make nice and try to figure your way out or what?
⑳ Finger trap → You're caught in a Chinese finger trap... with somebody else! You can't figure out how to get loose either... have fun with that.
FLUFF.
① Cuddling → For whatever reason, characters feel like being close and cuddling.
② Pillow talk → After the main event, characters are up for some pillow talk.
③ Celebration → Anniversary or some other big event is taking place and characters want to celebrate!
④ Love confession → Someone has finally decided to confess their love and today is the day!
⑤ Appreciation → You feel the need to show appreciation for that person closest to you, even if it's just a pat on the back.
⑥ Apologies → You made a mistake and now it's time to make it up in some way you know the other can't refuse!
⑦ Get back together → Why did you break up again exactly? Whatever the reason, it was a huge mistake and you both know you can work through it.
⑧ Date night → You've planned for a wonderful night together and you can't wait to get it started.
⑨ Family → You've either found out you're pregnant or you've already got that addition to your family.
⑩ Marriage → You're just about to get hitched or maybe you're enjoying your honeymoon. Maybe you've been together for years now! Whatever the case, it's time for that next big step.
⑪ Meeting again → It's time for that happy reunion finally!
⑫ Love at first sight → For whatever reason, you are now insanely in love with the first person you set eyes on.
⑬ Flirtation → You can't resist to do a little bit of harmless flirtation all of a sudden.
⑭ In the snow → Look outside! It's a winter wonderland, so why not go out and play in it?
⑮ Engagement → You've planned it all out and now it's time to finally pop the question.
⑯ Friendly games → You've set up the game station or board games for a friendly competition!
⑰ Gift → Time to give that special someone a gift just because.
⑱ Recovery → You're taking care of someone who's just recovered from some illness or injury.
⑲ Healing → Time to help mend that someone who's been through hell and back.
⑳ Better than ever → You've finally got everything you've ever wanted here. What is your ideal life and who does it include?
GEN.
① Nice meeting you → It's your first time meeting this person! You bumped into each other on the street, in a bar, at work... whatever!
② Drinks → You're out for drinks! Or just chilling at home with some beers. Wherever!
③ Lost → You're lost and you kind of need help finding your way to where you're going. A little help with directions?
④ Costume party → You're at a costume party, both of you are wearing masks. Do you keep the anonymity or take it off and see whose company you've been enjoying?
⑤ Wrong number → Oops, actually you didn't mean to call that person...
⑥ Drunk → You're already drunk! Drunk dialing, stumbling into someone, showing up unexpected... what type of drunk are you anyway? Aggressive, loving, happy? How does the other react?
⑦ Old friends → you haven't seen this person in a long time!
⑧ Rivals → you're suddenly rivals! Or maybe you have been all along...
⑨ Problems → you've got a problem with each other, just got in a huge fight, whatever. Try to work it out!
⑩ What are your intentions... → This person? They're dating a close friend, family member, etc. You need to find out if they're going to hurt them! Or you need to discuss your friend/family's dating choice.
⑪ I saw you → you saw the other person doing something bad and you need to confront them about it.
⑫ Sorry but no → the other person has feelings that you just don't share. They don't necessarily have to be romantic... maybe you just don't agree with their sudden desire to quit their job and start a business making tiny, fuzzy teddy bears.
⑬ My hero → you need to tell this person how much they mean to you. They've been your best friend or your role model your whole life and they need to know.
⑭ Enabler → you're enabling the other (or each other) to do something bad, really bad. Addiction, stealing, killing, or just any other self-destructive behavior.
⑮ Cooking → Time for an impromptu cooking lesson!
⑯ Oh, sure, I remember you... → It's that awkward moment when someone comes up and seems to know you, but you have no idea who they even are!
⑰ Rescue! → One of you was in trouble, but you came to the rescue!
⑱ Boss → One of you works under the other. Is your relationship good? Are you scheming things? Or do you hate each other?
⑲ Perfect crime → You and the other person have just pulled off the perfect crime... or you're planning to! What are you doing? The heist of the century, an assassination?
⑳ Movies → movie night! Maybe it's a sleepover. Whichever the case, it's time to eat a lot and have fun.
5/19 I am so sorry but obv not
Hey, pal!
How's my favorite man in tights doing?
Listen, I need you to help me hide a body
Like right now
oh my god
why
no subject
why me? why would i be the first person to come to mind for this?
no subject
You should be saying
Yes, of course I'll help you Buckaroo!
Or whatever trendy nickname you've come up with today
We don't have time for why and who and what and omg
It's because you're dependable OK?
So less texty, more
Whatever rhymes with texty and gets you over here
[ And not because you are the most easily manipulated of the hero types no. ]
no subject
Go get the punisher
1/18 + 5/13 i do what i wAnt (cdc au??? tyl??? laughs hollowly)
Akame takes a deep breath as she runs the very last security detail down with her trusty katana, Murasame, as she reaches the end of the final flight of stairs. The rest of the meager last-resort retaliation lie in sliced-up, blood heaps, peppering the precarious stairway network leading up to the inner stronghold where the enemy commander's holed up in.
Ten years, and this has become routine. She's not young anymore, and it shows. She's gotten a little thinner; her face looks somewhat weathered; there's a long scar now running down her right cheek, and she constantly wears her hair up instead of letting it flow free like she once did.
She's tired. She wants to get this over with so she can head back to the Neheda with the rest of the team, and she intends to carry this out alone, because they only have so much time before this planet's reduced to nothingness, and the CDC wants no one left alive. If she handles this by herself---]
...You followed me, didn't you?
[She stops just as she's about to proceed and trigger the motion detector that'll grant her entry, only slightly turning her head to address one Peter Parker. Her tone is neutral, and though he won't be able to see it, her eyes tell a different story, slightly creased with worry.
Ten years later, and he's still fretting over her. Akame inhales, then exhales a noise that sounds almost like a sigh.]
I said I'd take care of the commander. I'll be fine... [She grips Murasame's handle, willing herself to remain focused. If she handles this by herself, no one will get hurt, just her. No one will die, just her, if worse comes to worse. All she ever does is lose, and she's tired of it.] ...So please go back to the rest of the team.
you're incorrigible, throws you into the ocean
Akame's definitely grown up. She's been grown up for a long time: it's as if her body finally caught up to her line of thinking. Peter's grown up too. At long last he's caught up that extra five inches to match his doppelganger, even if his face remains doggedly boyish. His jaw has sharpened, though, as have his cheekbones, and he's finally gotten a decent haircut for his perpetually unruly hair. Yet the damnable doe eyes look like they're here to stay.
He uses them to their best effect when he can. They work wonders for guilt trips. Not always on Akame, particularly when she's going all stubborn and is like, "Stand back, let the professional teenage terminator handle this, sweet damsel boy," but like hell if he ever listens to her.
Peter drops from his perch on the ceiling. He'd been following her for a while, but she might have had trouble noticing with all the...dispatching that had been going on. Bee tee dubs if you wanna avoid all that pesky blood splatter? Ceilings and tree tops are the best way to go.]
You know I can't do that, Akame. [The humour drizzles out of him. Maybe only momentarily, but he means what he's saying right now.] After all this time you still tell yourself it's always gotta be a one woman show? Save the rest of us?
comes back sailing on a lapras, wow rude
While Akame's posture remains straight and resolute, if Peter looks closely, her shoulders have slumped ever-so-slightly at his question. Because that's the sticking point, isn't it? The heartfelt hook of an Adele song. The answer is, and always has been, always will be, "yes." Because all her life, she has been alone. There was no one to help her take care of Kurome. There was no one to help her after the Elite Seven were all killed. There was no one to help her kill Gozuki. She has been separated, for years, now, from what's left of Night Raid.
She was alone when Nic died. She was alone when Peter died the second time, until Ino showed up. It's going to remain that way. She'll keep it that way.
It's the only way. When she finally turns to look at him, fairly incongruous doe eyes and all, she's as staid and unrelenting as ever she was in the face of his puppy-dog look, but there's a hint of strain in her famed poker face; a slight creasing at the corners of her eyes, a faint downward pull at the corners of her mouth, as his tone becomes more serious.]
Peter, I've seen you die once. I won't allow it to happen again. [Even her voice is a little on the weary side, if he's able to catch it. The grip of hand upon her sword's handle is tense; her knuckles show through her gloves. Don't make her second-guess herself. She's done hesitating. It's taken her a decade to convince herself of that, too.
She shakes her head.] I can't guarantee your survival if you head in there with me. You've already given up so much to be here...and you deserve to live.
[She's not sure if she'll be able to handle seeing him die again. It'd be too much. He's a kind-hearted person, an extraordinary person, and she's tired of seeing the good die unjustly.
Akame raises her head, willing the cold mask to reassert itself.]
I've lived my life. I have no regrets. That's why you need to turn back.
you're the rude one!!!!!!!
Every time, she pulls that card. The days of defaulting to eye rolls are dead and gone — but so is the logic of her entire argument.]
So what if I won't allow you to die?
[He throws his arms wide as if posing as a saint above the litter of her massacre. The impertinent way he cocks his brow kills the impression within a second.] You still think you're the only person capable of this? Please. You're being ridiculous and you know it.
[It's a long enough tenure in the CDC that even the staunchest fluffballs find themselves taking knives to throats and making headshots on the regular. (Just look at what happened to Hinata a few months after Macha.) Peter, no matter how much of his adolescence he spent protesting it, was far closer to murder than most.
It had been....so easy.
Putrid and easy. He did vomit after the first, but he was sixteen and a recovering super hero. Nowadays his kill count, be it by fists, guns, or whatever makeshift mayhem he could cause with his powers, was one of the highest in the crew.
(It also helps boost your stats when you actually last ten years, whoopsie daisy.)
And no, he'd grown no amount of fondness for killing. A cool distance was the most appropriate term, and he might have to drink at times to help it along or go visit the more spiritual recruits, learning foreign techniques of keeping peace of mind. He wasn't a team player either. Peter was the kind of soldier to slip in undetected and slaughter silently, or charge ahead of his comrades and take as many as he could. Selfish, maybe, but the distinction he made between a kill of his own and the kills of his peers was that he always, always, strived to keep it quick and keep it humane. Even if they didn't mean to be cruel, the others drew things out or used powers best kept under lock and key.
Or, in some cases, they were actual fucking psychopaths and loved the excuse to indulge on the CDC's dime.
In Akame's case though? She was still a knight in shining armor. Chivalry was alive and kicking, all wrapped up in red-eyed assassin school girl packaging. (He knew she wasn't a school girl what the heck else was he supposed to think that skimpy old outfit of hers was?) Her count was top notch, and not because she enjoyed the life she had been tragically bred into. It was to prevent the loss of literally everyone that wasn't Akame.
To someone who'd spent ten years with her, watching moons and reading books, splitting meals and slipping notes and spilling beans, who knew the way that she flipped her hair and could predict fifty percent of what might come out of her mouth before it hit the air? It was downright fucking infuriating to think of a life without her.
So Peter strides ahead, ever so blasé, delicately stepping over a corpse as he goes.]
This way to Baddie McMeanstein, am I right?
i am as pure as the driven snow i have no idea what you speak of
[And she'll play that card for as long as she's still standing. Akame fixes Peter with a more severe look in the face of his sardonic posture and remark---which only serves to reinforce her resolve to keep him the hell out of this. It's in one ear and out the other with him at the best of times, she's come to see, after a decade's worth of getting to know him and fostering a close friendship with him, through all the tears, laughter, combat, and silly injokes. It's both his strong suit and his most fatal flaw.
She's seen him develop since. He's certainly hardened considerably. She's proud of him, she really is---and yet, sometimes, seeing him break necks like a politician breaks promises, she can't help but feel awful, as it reminds her of everything Tatsumi had gone through to get to a similar point. He'd lost so much, and gained very little. Just as with Kurome, as well. It's the same with Peter.
All he wanted was to be left alone, to rest in peace, but he's still here, having become the very kind of person he'd once feared, and Akame knows how painful that transition is. She wonders if he still wants to die.
But he's sacrificed himself more than enough times. When he got impaled years ago, seeing him fall helplessly in the midst of what was already a fierce battle---it sparked something in Akame. She'd realized that whenever she focuses too much on others, they die anyway, despite her efforts. But now, if she focuses on herself...
...Or make a good show of it, at any rate---]
Peter, I know you're concerned. I appreciate it. I always have. [There's a mild hint of frustration in her eyes as her mind slowly begins to put together a plan while she strides through the doors right after him, moving briskly down the subsequent corridor; it's empty and silent thus far. She huffs quietly, feigning reluctant acquiescence with a short nod as he continues to insist upon accompanying her. This is going to be as hurtful to her as it will be to him, but she can't. She can't allow him to go down with her. It's true. Her frigid, silent, swift killing sprees were borne from a dogged determination to not lose anymore. All the blood she bathed herself in, all the people she mercilessly cut down were stepping stones to achieve that end.
That all should've scared him off long ago, waving blazing red flags, really, but it didn't.
She's never understood why. Akame's mouth twists into a slight grimace at the thought of that, as she continues:] But this is what I'm good at. You've known this for quite some time now. So...
[Akame finds herself looking off to the side, a ghost pf regret in her eyes.]
...Why didn't you turn on your heel? If...if you hadn't stuck around me, you wouldn't have gotten killed that day...
okay. okay. i can do this.......fingers hit the keyboard trembling
[They'd seen the potential even in the likes of him, and many, many others even more pacifist than him. Everyone got sucked down the murder drain, or they suffered the consequences. Optimus Primed out of this world, so to speak.
He does shoot her a look. It borders on a scowl.] It's not just concern, okay? It's flat out logic. Two's better than one. And we work well together.
[She's changing gears though. He half wonders if it's a tactic to get him to back down, yet even as the thought occurs he squashes it down. Akame's softer inside than she likes to admit, and there's a thread of strain to the query that only those who'd spent years with the girl can pick out amidst the deadpan.]
It wasn't...[Oh man. Years later and his throat still sticks up on him sometimes.] I didn't want to leave. I was glad you came. I wouldn't have left unless you came with me...
[He'd been such a coward. Trying to spare the natives when he knew they'd be dead from planetary detonation within a month. These days he knew what a real mercy was. Peter tugs on a lock of hair, tucking it behind his ear. That's not even the whole of it either.]
I would have died a lot quicker without you, honestly. I think....like in some respect... [His lungs seemed to have pulled tight.] I was teetering between things. I was pretty panicked and I couldn't kill them, and I didn't want to be there, but I was scared anyway of actually committing to it. Either they would have got the drop on me or I'd...like...but you showed up, and then it was a little easier to keep going. To remember that going on was an option.
[His proud march has dwindled to a thoughtful gait, melancholy trailing after with a grip on his sleeves. It's embarrassing to admit that he was so utterly gutless that he'd thought it was gonna be his only option. The least noble way out of a ruthless contract. Couldn't even go out fighting.
Peter shakes his head.]
That's the last time I thought like that, though. I know better now.
5-3 (gen - lost) idk
[This sort of thing had happened to him before. Way back at the start, on Ajna, when he'd walked through a portal in the ground and wound up back on his horse in Karanese, right where he'd been taken from. Only this time the great big creepy eye shaped hole in the ground didn't drop him in Stohess, or Karanese, or anywhere he recognizes. And this time he doesn't immediately forget everything that had happened in the many months (years?) since his consignment.
It reminds him of Selena, a little, in how busy and loud and sprawling it is. Or those spooky prison colonies they'd spent weeks in after Macha, only much (much) more alive. Streets choked with the same kind of cars he'd seen Niko messing with, there. Enormous shining buildings stretching as far as he could see. More people in one place than he's probably encountered anywhere. (The population of the city would dwarf the population of the entire human race, where he comes from. Several times over. He doesn't know that, but he can get a feel of the population density, and it is staggering.) And all around signs and papers covered in words that he manages to identify as English through the increasingly less hopeless amounts of it he's picked up from his comrades. (It was a pretty common language on the Neheda, and they'd all agreed that being able to communicate during the rare-but-usually-dire times when the translator system failed was a good idea.)
His cuff is resoundingly useless—still fastened tight around his wrist, lit red and still functioning, but all communications and data read a damning NO SIGNAL. His earpiece still works as well—he can understand the chatter of the people he passes in the streets perfectly, though the reverse would be too convenient. He tries asking a woman where he is and she looks unsure and apologizes for “not speaking German.” He tries again experimentally in his not-as-shitty-as-it-used-to-be English. This time she smiles politely through his accent to tell him that he's in a place called “Bronx.”
They'd just dropped onto a new planet, before he fell through the ground and into another one entirely. Which is lucky in some ways. He's got a duffel bag with his gear and rifle in it, along with a few of his things and a decent set of rations. It's a little cold out, after the first night he switches out to the garish old green hoodie Hinata had given him, once, which does a better job of blending him in with the crowd than his standard issue gear or his worn Survey Corps jacket.
But if he was worried about people being suspicious of him, he had little reason to be. People look right over him when they see him on the street, maybe frowning slightly at his oddly-matched clothes or his oversized duffel for a second before wandering off, entirely unphased. Sometimes, on the rare occasions they catch him taking shelter at night, they avoid eye contact and speed up a bit until they pass him by. (Usually. He gets attacked once, by a man with a knife, and Eren breaks his wrist disarming him and never sees him again.)
Most of a week passes, and the portal in the ground doesn't reappear. He cannot contact his comrades through his cuff. He's still little closer to knowing where he is, or how the hell he's supposed to get out, or what the hell happened to the others. (Newspaper stories about a “Spider-Man” batter against his hindbrain for attention, but he can't place it. He pushes it aside for bigger things like the wheres and the whys. Peter'd been transferred a whole ago, and Eren hadn't paid his alter ego much mind after he'd mentioned it in their introduction.) Walking through the narrow streets in the same general area only gets him so far. Time to look at things from a slightly different perspective.
The upgrades they'd managed to get from the Neheda's skilled engineers help a lot with fuel efficiency, more reliable performance in new terrain. But he'd still been taking care to ration his supplies. Now, he climbs up to a rooftop via an old fire escape and straps on his gear for the first time in days, finding a likely looking route up and through the city, he hammers down on the triggers in his hands and takes to the air.]
i hope that eren tried a bagel during his big week in new york!!!!
Except how do you convey to someone that you're experiencing the world's longest spell of deja vu? Mary Jane had noticed he'd been strangely pensive lately but had somewhat erroneously chalked it up to PTSD. Like don't get him wrong, he was still pretty firmly stuck in the quagmire of severe and untreated trauma (and so was she, for the record), but that didn't explain this.
He kind of wishes Doctor Strange was still around. Professor Xavier. The former would be about the only person who could tell if there was some wacky voodoo messing with him, like that time he'd been under the sway of that nightmare demon thing, and the latter could take a harmless peak at the ole noggin and figure out which cogs are grinding in the wrong direction.
But both are dead. And Reed Richards is evil, Nick Fury is AWOL unless he deigns not to be, and Carol Danvers already thinks he's too much of a spaz to not throw him in super detention if she hears he's in another pickle. And thusly, his pool of capable confidantes has been whittled down to near nothing.
Truthfully, Peter's still not entirely convinced that this is something worth bothering the big leagues with anyhow.
It'll just be something he ponders over while swinging. On patrol during a sunny Saturday afternoon, more for kicks than for business. He was allowed to do some swinging for fun once in a while.
Then his spider sense buzzes. And while it is a mild buzz he is still extremely bothered by the interruption, and is incredibly displeased to find some dillhole swinging
up
like right in front of him?
Also a metal cable whips him in the leg as the dude goes.]
Oy gevalt!
no, it's peter's job to take him out on the town
Even without a clear idea of where to go or what to do once he's up there, after skulking around the packed and stifling streets for days there's something incredibly freeing about getting back into the air. And it's not like he's got much reason to expect company from what he's seen around here, so far. So maybe he'd leaped a little too soon without looking, in his eagerness to get off the ground and get moving. It makes for an alarming near-miss.
He sees a flash of color in his peripheral, feels a tug on one of his cables, hears a shout in the wind that he doesn't understand. (That one, the translator didn't seem to see fit to pick up. It happens, sometimes, when things don't translate cleanly, or sometimes when the signal is spotty. Tech support had gone down the shitter when the Neheda went rogue, so it happens more and more often. He still hopes it isn't the latter.)
In turn, he bites out a short and profane string of German Dungeon Gibberish as he twists in midair to compensate for the near-collision, pivoting to reorient himself until he gets boots on the side of a building. Immediately after, he hackles and spins to search out the source of the disruption.
So what Peter gets is one weird asshole braced against the side of a building several stories in the air and scowling up at him. He looks somewhere in his mid-to-late teens—an odd contraption securing the cables at his hips and a dark grey bag strapped to his back and something flashing red in his ear, hidden under his hair. He also looks distinctly wary, or aggravated. His eyes are narrowed and his shoulders are squared and his fingers are wrapped tight around the triggers in his hands, raised halfway as if in defense, or preparation.]
but he's too poor to show eren a good time...
There was a sour faced boy sick to the side of the brick building. Clearly this was his culprit, sticking around with this bizarre steampunk contraption latched onto his legs, metal triggers in hand. That was....huh. Even people building super gear in their garages don't quite achieve that aesthetic.
Peter lands with a thud above the boy, glowering with suspicion under the mask.]
You got a permit to fly around in U.S. airspace?
[And only post quip does he notice the blinking light under his hair.
Aw crap. Has Skynet gone live?]
useless!
Anyway. He doesn't dignify that question with an answer. Mostly because he doesn't know what the hell it's supposed to mean, to be honest. But also because something about this feels so damn familiar.
So, he matches Peter's glower with one (more visible) of his own. His hands drop down a bit as his expression creases, brows drawn together. The recognition comes in a little easier after he's heard his voice. Space is huge. The odds are fucking ridiculous, but they'd had transfers came in and out of the crew plenty. And he's seen that sort of swinging before.
So—wait for it—]
Peter?
[He doesn't sound entirely sure. But the harder he tries to put a finger on it the more positive he is that he knows this guy. It's been a while. (It's nice to see him alive, at least.)]
so says the protag whose creator designed him to be useless????
Yet the universe always has another curveball to throw him. It's not the first time someone's popped out of the woodwork with some strange connection to him, but usually? Those guys were masked, and the reveal kinda explained it.
Peter can see this guy's face and there are zero bells ringing. Not a good sign. He's silent for a full five seconds, utterly immobile.]
What did you say?
[This was bad.
Not out in the open. They can't do this in the open, the building might be brick but there's a window right next to them and someone could already be pressed to the pane with their iPhone on record. So please don't have acid skin or weirdo mind melding powers, please don't be a hologram, and please don't be a vampire, Steampunk Stan.
With no warning, Peter snatches at the guy's collar and leaps. Up they go, whipping onto the lonely rooftop where Peter promptly chucks the guy to the floor. Roof. Whatever.
He's so sick of this crap coming up every freaking week.]
Who are you?
so what's peter's excuse
And Eren's good at sudden changes in momentum, has had a whole lot of exhaustive experience with being kidnapped. But it's brief, and it happens too quickly for him to properly react. He skids across the roof after getting tossed out onto it, rolls with the landing to shove himself up to a crouch.
Who are you? The very clear implications behind the question don't sink in right away, mostly because he's too busy hackling at the treatment and scrubbing the heel of his hand over his temple (it comes away with a smear of blood from a shallow scrape, courtesy of landing facefirst on the floor. Roof. Whatever.)]
Hey, what the fuck?
[What's the big idea?]
HE'S NOT USELESS! he makes great fertilizer
No no no, you don't get to what the eff. I'm what the effing!
[This would be easier if he'd come out and say fuck, but like. He has fans....he can't let them down, look at how the world turned on Miley Cyrus.
His spider sense still refuses to trip. It makes him wonder why the guy hasn't retaliated yet. What really rubs him the wrong way is how he'd said "Peter."
Not like he was naming him. Acknowledging that he knew his identity. That would have been something like a, "Peter Parker," or "I was expecting you, Mr. Parker." Something a little more befitting of a Bond villain. But no, he gets this weird gobsmacked look in his eye and just uses his first name alone. With familiarity even.
Uncool.
He doesn't come any closer, though it's a fight to not just grab him by the collar and shake him until all his beans spilled. The way Peter clenches his fists makes no pretenses about the urge, however, and if this creep gave him lip instead of answers he'd be in for much worse than a rooftop rug burn.]
Who are you, and what do you want from me?
ah yes how could I forget. also hi I'm back.
I didn't know you were here.
[He doesn't even know where here is, don't act like he's got some kind of crazy agenda. He shakes the blood off his hand and shoves himself up to standing, squaring up against Peter's aggressive posture reflexively. By the time he's on his feet and staring him down, the weight behind the continued "who are you" finally drops. His jaw locks, hands pulling into fists of their own. It's basically an accepted Fact that as soon as someone's been transferred off the crew, there are no guarantees they'll remember anything that came before it if you see them again. (Which is still a big fucking if.) It's the rule, rather than the exception, but it still tends to hit like a kick in the head when it happens. (It doesn't usually come with clenched fists and threatened posturing. It's even less fun when it does.)
His weird accent gets thicker when he gets pissed off, but after a week of relying on his fledgling English, it's a small favor he'd been sticking to it, for now. Because he's definitely not in a position to realize Peter's not wearing any CDC gear. No cuff, no translators. Now that he's recognized him and realized what's (he thinks is) going on, the extra effort gets tossed out the window in favor of figuring it out. (This is more CDC bullshit, Peter's got an earpiece under that goofy mask, right?)
Okay, this happens. It's annoying, it's infuriating, but it's not new. And yet, as if he has to be sure—]
You don't know?
[It's not like they'd been close. But they'd been comrades. (Friendly. Friends?) Unfortunately, switching back to Shingekese probably isn't going to help this conversation much.]
hi boo, i missed you.......
[This is going absolutely nowhere.
Peter hisses through his teeth and grips the sides of his head. Cripes, one week? One week without something absolutely nusto happening, that was all he ever wanted. And what does he get?
Steampunk Stan and his Magical Bag of No Freaking Answers.
The odd thing is that the guy seems to be expecting something out of him, and not in the insidious way. As if Peter had barged all up in his day and tossed him the sack of mystery bricks and not the other way around.
Then as if this wasn't infuriating enough, the guy starts speaking tongues. Peter draws back, visibly affronted.]
Was that even English just now?
[He doesn't have the time for this. Peter swings his hands way out to halt the progress of all nonsense henceforth.]
Okay. Okay. You need to explain to me, in normal English words, exactly how you know me and from where in the next thirty seconds, or I am going to haul your dumb tucchas to that big ole' super-prison over there, [He points to the giant tower that looms over the harbour like a church spire, imposing in all the least appetizing ways.] and you can explain it to a bunch of very angry dudes with big guns and handcuffs. Capisce?
hi.....................
He's just as impatient to make sense of this, though. Things have really started to add up in the wrong ways. He frowns and cants his head and taps at the odd red-lit earpiece he's wearing when it (once again) refuses to translate tuccas and capisce correctly. More importantly, looking for any sign of one over under Peter's hood doesn't seem to turn anything up. But even if Peter'd been transferred off to some other crew—he might not remember anything, but he'd still be outfitted in the same standard tech, wouldn't he?
Begrudgingly, he switches back to English, choosing his words with the kind of delayed deliberation that means it doesn't come easy to him.]
Take that thing off. [He gestures to Peter's goofy mask, like he doesn't even get why he's wearing it, swinging his battered duffel off his shoulder in apparent unconcern about Peter's increasingly exasperated threats. And without waiting for an argument—] What d'you remember about the CDC?
[Information was slow in coming to the Neheda, gathered up in bits and pieces over months, isolated from the rest of the universe and the rest of the company except when HQ wanted things different. Starting over would be a pain in the ass.]
let's get eren a burger...or a DQ sundae.......
[If this was a precursor to the zombie apocalypse, he was gonna be so damn cheesed.
And oy gevaltz, they always want the mask off, don't they?
Peter has to take a quick looksee around the place. His paranoia reasons that it's a ploy, that this yutz has some jerk with a camera on a rooftop or a nearby window and they're gonna spread his face all over Dickweed Villains Monthly Digest. But this yutz knows his name already, how hard would it be to get the Midtown High Yearbook and look for the worst haircut in the tenth grade?
He scans around regardless, and really strains to feel if his spider sense is tingling. Even at the softest possible setting, it seems to be silent. Peter sighs.]
Swear to god, if you've got a cameraman stashed around somewhere...
[The threat trails off. Off the mask goes. His hair was freshly cut, close cropped the way his Aunt so desperately liked it (first chance he got it was growing it out again, he looks like a pinhead when it's too short). His frown is deeply set and accented by the knot between his brows. Petulance personified.]
Satisfied?